Defending Media Sovereignty

U of A SU election season officially kicks off today. For some reason having to do with space contraints and/or the SU being like one of those girlfriends who just can’t let go after a breakup, the third floor of SUB—our official home—becomes the official home base for most of the candidates’ campaign operations. It’s a hive of scum and villiany you’ll not find anywhere else on campus.

As such, the need to defend the sovereignty of the media becomes of pinnacle importance. We can’t just have any hack stroll into 3-04 acting like a diplomat, trying to get an upper edge on their opponents. That’s why we’re proud to introduce a new defense line, courtesy of the office of the Editor-in-Chief.

Visitors to the office are first greeted by one of our many “…since 1910″ taglines, which proudly declares our history as crusaders for journalistic independence.

If that’s not enough, the Gateway has officially drawn its borders for all to see. The Hack-Ginot line outlines the Gateway’s sovereign territory, and much like an isolationist CPU in Civilization 4, no one’s getting in without an “Open Borders” alliance.

Our final—and most effective—line of defense is found just beyond our border, at the desk of Online Editor, Gunnery Sgt Lucas Wagner. Together with Private Civiero, the Gateway will rain down foamy death from the mouth of our Nerf Vulcan chaingun without prejudice to any unwelcome visitors who would attempt to break through the walls of our journalistic fortress into hostile territory.

The Gateway: Defending Media Sovereignty since 1910.