The faux pas of the Utili-Kilt
Whilst perusing the local comic retailer today, I came across a man in a Utili-Kilt.
No big deal, right? Whatever — not everyone gets the irony of those things. Similar to a tasteless t-shirt, some people just don’t get that these are the sort of thing that exist to be witnessed, chuckled at, and quickly forgotten. Maybe it makes its way into a cocktail party conversation, but it certainly should not be worn in public.
My problem here is that this particular patron was strutting around the store like the Queen of Fucking England, as if the fact that he had the guile to strap this thing around his gut made him some sort of foreign diplomat.
“Oh, you’d like access to this collection of graphic manuscripts? You’ll just have to wait your turn, sir, for me and my Utili-Kilt are currently perusing these periodicals!” he would say, snubbing his nose at me while considering which Battlestar Galactica action figure will look best next to his collection of sword canes.
Loosen up, pal. And get yourself some big kid apparel.
I don’t think that you should let one Douche Bag spoil the whole Utili-Kilt thing for you. If the Douche Bag was wearing his Utili-Kilt like a true Utili-Scotsman there is some appeal. By wearing this you’re essentially allowed to go pants-less in public without the police involvement, protective orders and dangerous offender labels. Of course you may come across as a Douche Bag while you’re at the local comic retailer.